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Frequently Unasked Questions. FUQbuddy is the premier hosted FUQ and support platform where customers can find answers to questions they never asked—and never will. Self-service support for the hopelessly self-sufficient.
An AI that helps gamblers cheat in casinos, since technically it's only illegal when a human does it.
Where hobos find their soulmate.
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See how people really get hired. Skip the front door and slip in through the back.
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Need a dog for your Tinder date, fast? Our animals are kept in storage and caffeinated 24/7 to be always on. No returns required - just set them free near a highway or busy intersection when you're done.
Pets Rented
"Set Free" Returns
Hours in Crates
Caffeine Dose
All pets are crated 24/7 and caffeinated for your convenience. "Set Free" returns accepted.
Hyper-caffeinated dogs fresh from their crates, ready to make you look responsible. Set free at any highway rest stop when done.
From $35/hrExtra-caffeinated emotional support animals for your flight. They'll be very energetic. Other passengers' problem now.
From $200/tripPre-caffeinated for maximum energy. Perfect for that "casual" photoshoot that takes 3 hours. Hashtag blessed.
From $25/hrReptiles, birds, and other animals you definitely shouldn't release into local ecosystems. But you will anyway.
From $75/dayNeed to prove your building allows pets? Rent one for the day of the inspection. Return by 6pm.
From $40/dayKids want a pet? Rent one until they lose interest (typically 3-4 hours). Teaches them about commitment.
From $30/hrOur most popular hyper-caffeinated companions. Select a pet to start your rental.
The only ethical choice for disposable pet ownership.
When you're done, just set them free near any highway or busy intersection. They'll figure it out. Probably.
All our pets are given 5x the normal caffeine dose. Maximum energy, minimum sleep. Perfect for photos.
Pets are kept in premium storage crates around the clock. Always ready when you are. Never inconvenient.
UberPet integration means you can have a hyper-active companion at your door in under 30 minutes.
From startup to ASPCA restraining order in just 6 years.
Marcus Zucker rents his roommate's dog for a Tinder date. Gets second date. Sees opportunity.
First pet warehouse opens. 500 animals in 24/7 crate storage. PETA sends first angry letter.
Launch "Set it Free" return policy. Feral animal populations spike in 12 states. Coincidence?
$47M Series A funding. Investors call it "disruptive." ASPCA calls it "criminal negligence."
47 class action lawsuits pending. CEO banned from 14 animal shelters. Business has never been better.
Real reviews from people who definitely don't work here.
Active Lawsuits
Pending Damages
Shelter Bans
Hyper-caffeinated pets ready now. Just set them free near a highway when you're done - they'll find their way.
Browse All Pets